Why We Should Stop Saying '#Goals'


We say this word a lot nowadays. It's not a bad word on its own, but with the rise of social media and constant bombarding of materialistic values in our everyday lives, it becomes a loaded gun pointed at our self esteem. 

Why do we desire what others have? It's human nature to get jealous, to want what someone else has, and to think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. 

The problem with coining a phrase like #goals and making it part of our vocabulary, is not only does it give it space in our conversations, but it starts burrowing deep within our heart. We become obsessed with other people and what they have, and we start feeling "less than”. 

Let's examine the thoughts we might subconsciously be having when when we say #goals: 

#couplegoals - why doesn't my man do that for me? It's not fair, her guy is so romantic and mine sucks

#kitchengoals - my kitchen is ugly and not good enough, I shouldn't even try

#jobgoals - It's not fair they have a cool job and get to wear pretty clothes and be fabulous and I'm stuck in a cubicle

#bodygoals - I'm fat and don't have a thigh gap and don't look that good in clothes

#shoegoals - how does she have the money to buy 14 pairs of studded Valentines and I can't even get one, and she's not even that pretty

#lifegoals - my life sucks and I want hers instead

Constantly vocalizing that someone else is your “goal" is like preaching daily to yourself that your life doesn't measure up, and ends up solidifying the feeling that we have isn't enough. That WE, aren’t enough. That we need more. It turns us into ungrateful people who minimize the many blessings we do have

I've felt like this many times. I've #goals'ed in my own head and thought "why does she have such beautiful style. She has the perfect life. She takes great pictures. Her blog is amazing. How much money does she make? How is her home always clean? I wish I would have thought of that first. Why am I even doing this when they are doing a much better job at it than I ever will."

When I catch myself having those thoughts, or wanting more stuff for my house so it can be all pretty and put together, outraged that my house is still unfinished after a year of living here and we just now got the TV off the floor, I stop myself and remind myself to take two pills: a large patience pill, and an even larger humility pill. 

It's okay to get frustrated, to want more. What's not okay, and I've had more ugly moments than I'd like to admit, is to become ungrateful, or worse, entitled. The internet certainly is a great place to become distracted and discouraged from the things that really matter, and we start believing we need all those things others have in order to feel complete.

Here is a list of the things we are entitled to: 


Exactly. We are not owed anything. We can work and earn things we need and want, but sometimes we waste the moment by moving past it too fast and getting on to the next thing on the list. I struggle with this:

"Omg I NEED this desk. I cannot live without it. Think how great it will look in my office. Husband please we need to get it, NOW. I can't sleep I can't eat, I am dying inside. 

*finally gets desk* 

Oh that's so pretty I love it so much. You know what would look amazing next to it? A chair. 

OMG I NEED this chair. But not in the regular fabric, like in a custom blue fabric with ivory trim, yes yes I need it. Omg think how great it will look!!! I need this chair in my life to be happy. I need it because I can't possibly work without a chair. I visit it daily on its website. I've already named it. I can't eat I can't sleep, I am dying inside. "

You get the point. 

I don't know why we do this, but I know that the entitled culture we live in isn't helping us be more grateful for what we have. The internet has permeated our lives so deeply and the constant comparison certainly isn't making this battle any easier.

My challenge for us as women in this materialist society is to NOT think #goals of anyone but ourselves. How would my perspective change if I started viewing MY life as "goals". And if you saw YOUR life as "goals." You have your health, people you love, people who love you, maybe you have children, maybe you love your job, maybe you just have A job. Maybe you just have really great eyelashes. There is something to be grateful for. 

If we think about it, it's a never-ending cycle. We are born wanting more; more food, more attention, more toys, more sleep. We grow up to want more; more money, more stuff, a bigger house, a shinier ring, a flashier wedding, nicer furniture. And finally, we die wanting more, but we die only wanting one thing: more time with people we love. 

In the end that's what life is about isn't it? Being loved and around loved ones. Not all the #goals. I challenge myself and you, to instead of lusting after more stuff, take a moment to lust after your own life. Appreciate the little things you loved so much you HAD to get them. Go over there and sip coffee out of that favorite mug, and enjoy the moment, don't rush through it. Wear your cute outfit out and appreciate that you could buy it. Relax on your worn, stained, lived-and-loved-in couch with your honey and tell him how grateful you are that he takes out the trash every week. 

We always, ALWAYS have it better than someone else so let's celebrate that!