There Was a Part of Me That Was Dreading Marriage
I’m going to be completely honest, as I always am, there was a part of me that was dreading marriage. Yep, I said it (queue shocked/appalled face). But let me explain…
You typically hear two things from other newlyweds: 1. It’s magic and rainbows (my interpretation – which I never believed for a second) OR 2. It’s HARD, it’s all about compromise, etc. (definitely believable, most of us have had roommates and know the challenges that come along with that).
My friends will confirm that I had said this a couple times prior to the wedding and I think they were all a little worried about our marriage. It wasn’t that I didn’t love my (now) husband and wasn’t confident he was the one. It wasn’t that I was not looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together. It was the anticipation of the challenges of living with someone else and sharing your money with someone else. My husband had lived alone for 9 years and I had lived alone for several years, so, I knew this was going to be an adjustment for both of us. I can be a little OCD at times about how the house is kept and already was feeling apprehensive about moving into HIS house. I was fully prepared for lots of arguments and compromises which led to that feeling of dread and thoughts like “let’s just get past this first year”.
Anyone that has recently gotten married knows about the one question you always get: “Well, how is married life”? My answer is always the same; "better than I expected”.
You can imagine the looks I get when I respond this way. Why can’t I just say “wonderful” like everyone else does? I’m not a pessimist, but I am a realist. I wanted to fully prepare myself for that tough first year of fighting over money, dirty dishes, clothes on the floor, sharing one TV, etc. To my surprise; it was so easy and so much fun! Marriage really is much better than I ever expected. Sure, there are times when he aggravates me over things he does (or doesn’t do) and I’m sure I aggravate him as well, but overall I’m living with my best friend so what’s not to love?
I remember our pastor preaching about relationships and marriages, one thing he said that stuck with me was that although he and his wife are complete opposites in almost every way, they are still better together. I loved that! My husband and I differ in a lot of ways. He is the saver, I’m the spender. He is always thinking long term and I’m thinking short term. He is more introverted and I’m more extroverted. It’s sometimes a challenge for us to find TV shows, movies and music that we both will enjoy. But all of that aside, we are definitely better together. I’m thankful for our differences and appreciate that he brings a different perspective to the table because Lord help us if we were both exactly alike!
So, if you are about to get married, I’ll be the realist who tells you that it’s not always fun and there will be heated discussions and disagreements about big and little things but for the most part, it truly is awesome! I love that seeing him is effortless, unlike when you are dating. I look forward to telling him all my random thoughts and ideas throughout the day when we get home. I love enjoying our time together even if it’s just watching movies or TV shows. I love that I can sit and craft and even if we’re not talking, he is there! If you haven’t figured it out by now, my main love languages is quality time, and marriage comes with LOTS of it!
Courtney Hamby - Guest Blogger