Woman Up And Ask Him Out!

Where exactly would we be, had I not been courageous enough?  From the moment I saw Adam, I knew there was potential.  When I found out he was single, I was floored!  HOW COULD THAT HOTTY WITH A BODY BE SINGLE?  I didn't care to find out, but knew I had to make a move before anyone else did.  

After years of social conditioning, the gender roles have become intertwined for an almost even exchange between men and women.  Men can easily juggle being stay-at-home dads, while women go to work  from 9-5 and bring home the bacon.  Men can cook up spaghetti and meatballs, while women can grab a tool box and make their own furniture.  When it comes to taking charge and asking a guy out, we still haven't stepped up to the plate entirely, have we?  It can be emotionally rough to make that first move.  Here are couple of pointers that could help you along the way:

Be yourself:  This is best piece of advice I can give you.  Don't try to propose going to a museum or a play, if that's something you wouldn't ordinarily do on your free time.  Do not act like you love hiking, if the only time you go outside is when taking out the garbage. On the other hand, don't be afraid to speak your mind of fear that you may intimidate him.  Show that boy what you're really made of!  There is so much value in being authentic.  Upsizing  or downplaying your character doesn't change who you are on the inside.  Ultimately, you want someone to be attracted and interested in the person you really are.

Catch the vibes:  Time to use your woman's intuition!  As most of you know, Adam and I met while working together in the Emergency Department.  After doing CPR on a patient for quite a bit, it was time to switch around as per the protocol.  I caught wind of Adam staring at my behind (which is ironic since he's so proper and discreet).  Say what now?  Maybe your guy won't give you the Manhattan once over, like my sweet Adam but, maybe he really listens to you when you're speaking.  Has he been recollecting ALL the details of your story?  Or perhaps he's acting a little differently than he usually does.  I got NONE of the above however, the fact that I caught him looking down was enough for me to take a chance.

Be casual:  This is a great way to keep your stress level down!  A very serious proposition could make you feel nervous and foolish.  Don't start out by asking him to a fancy dinner unless this is well within your comfort zone.  Why not start off with coffee?  Not in the mood for coffee?  Gotcha!  Why not go out for a beer?   That's what I did!   Making the tone relaxed and unceremonious took tons of edge off the process.  I told myself that at the very least, I'd make a new friend with whom I'd have new things in common.  I did it and survived to tell the story and so will you!  

Acknowledge his interests:  If you target one of his interests and go from there, he's bound to feel more inclined to get to know you better.  He likes the beach?  Great, so do you!  Ask him to keep you in mind next time he goes and make sure to follow through. Of course, it's best to aim for an activity that appeases both of you!   Asking Adam to go fishing wouldn't have been a great idea since I'm one to get seasick (Barf bag, anyone? No thanks!).  At the time, the only beers I knew were Budweiser and Budlight, but Adam had mentioned pale ales, wheats and blondes.  What was all that stuff?  I had no clue but, I figured we could get to talking and go from there!  Nowadays, I love beer and that's probably the reason why I'll never have abs.  At least there's a six pack in the fridge!  

Stop fearing the word NO:  What's the worst that can happen? He isn't interested?  Catching my prey wasn't all that easy.  While speaking casually my husband literally came out and said "I can't promise anything more than a friendship."   For me, the key was not to spending too much time worrying about it.  Rejection is not a reflection of you, it's a reflection of him.  Perhaps he's got a ton of baggage and can't deal with you right now (thank him, you don't need any baggage).  Maybe, it's about compatibility and he just isn't feeling it (again, nothing wrong with that).  I turned my frown upside down and appreciated his honesty and gave him some space.  It's best to let him sort it all out independently. 

Remember, guys  confidence too:  How attractive is a man who can hold his own?  Sexy, right?  I can't say it enough but the same goes for us!  Men are much less complex than us.  Exuding confidence really sets a precursor for an understanding that you are strong and capable in your own abilities.  In the end, if things do move forward, he'll remember and appreciate the little things you did.  Besides, it takes the pressure off them for a chance!  Most of the guys I've spoken to (including my husband) would be THRILLED if a girl asked them out!  To them, it's no big deal.  See that?  Now you are confident AND creative for changing up the game.  ;)

Adam may have asked me out at a later time or maybe he wouldn't have.  Does it really matter now?  Taking charge doesn't have to correlate with masculinity.  It simply means, you know what you want and you go for it.  As women, we've climbed up many ladders and that's something we should be proud of!  Why not take a leap and work our way up this one too?  I'd love to hear some of your personal experiences or any other observations you have on this topic and can't wait to hear from you!