Why Is Everyone Settling?

blonde girl wearing glasses  starbucks  drink 

Lately, it seems everyone is settling.

Settling down, settling into family life, settling for crappy jobs. Some of this settling is good, and some, not so good. 

I think we all have that one friend that married a guy that makes you think, huuuuh? Or the men who cheated on their girlfriend for 3 years straight then proposed. But hey, now they are posting pictures in crisp white shirts, on the beach, with their happy families. Who needs self-respect when you can have adorable family portraits?

Maybe I’m the one that made the mistake when I decided to be all noble and block men that cheated on me. I get it - it's hard to ignore guys that keep calling and apologizing because you actually start believing them after a while. Shout out to Apple for the easy block features on the iPhone. Life. Saver.

But lately, something odd has started to happen. I’ve noticed that my family's dating advice has completely changed.

When I was 16, there were a lot of “don’t settle” sentiments. Then in college, I heard “you are too picky Jessica”. Now, it’s back to “don’t settle”.

The first transition from “don’t settle” to “you’re too picky” seemed natural. But the most recent transition to “don’t settle” seemed odd, so I finally asked my mom, “Why has everyone told me my standards were too high and now everyone is telling me to not settle?”. Her answer was simple: "Because you’re getting older now, and we don’t want you to get desperate and just settle for anyone.”


Clearly, I had no idea I was THAT old. The kind of old that apparently needs to feel desperate! I’ve never struggled to get attention from guys, but now I’m in my late 20’s and I’m desperate? How did this happen without my knowledge?

Truth be told, while I have yet to feel desperate, I have felt like I am falling behind.

I love that people my age are spending their Saturdays in their new vegetable gardens or taking their kids to baseball games. I wish I were doing the same. Luckily, it hasn’t made me sad enough to start settling for crappy guys. 

Instead, I sit back and reflect back on the men I have dated, and think what my life would be like had I married any of them (See Fifty Shades). Usually once that exercise is done, I feel super content with being single and spending my Saturdays watching Netflix and cleaning out my closet for the hundredth time.

The moral of this rant is that just because it feels like everyone else is settling into family life or unhappy relationships doesn’t mean you have to. I encourage all of us single women to keep our standards high and choose wisely. After all, marriage is forever. 

This article was originally published on Twenty Nine and Terrified

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