It doesn't quite seem fair that when the moving company handed me the forms to fill out for my valuables, there was no place for me to write my friends' names down. You get to go to a brand new place, with adventures awaiting you, and you're essentially starting from scratch. All of these fun new things, and no one to share it with. In my case, I do have my gorgeous husband and beautiful kids, but starting over in general is hard. Let alone being a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of three whose gorgeous husband also works crazy hours.
I am a by nature a keep-to-myself kind of gal. This is NOT my first rodeo when it comes to moving, and it probably won't be our last. I find comfort in routine, and discomfort in putting myself out there. In order to have the kind of life I wanted for myself and my family, I knew I needed to change my way of thinking.
If you find yourself in a new place without friends, here are a few ways to find some.
What better way to be around people? I have to thank my kids for most of our friends in our new city. My husband took us all to a park that was a bit of a drive, and because we did that, my daughter met a friend there. My daughter and her friend brought both of us moms together and said " we want to have a play date, so you guys need to meet ". My now friend and I both looked at each other with awkwardness and an hour later we had exchanged numbers. She was my first friend here, and because of her I met so many other people.
Now will all of your outings end with BFF necklaces? No, probably not. But if you don't venture out, how will you ever know?
2. Sign up for a meet up
Go online, and sign up for different meet ups in your area. Maybe it's a moms group, maybe is a homeschooling group, dance group, etc. This one was harder for me. I love talking to people, but do not thrive at introducing myself. When you sign up for something you are interested in, you know the other people in your meet up group have at least one like-minded interest. It's easier to start a comfortable, non-forced conversation that way.
3. Take a class
Do you love photography, cooking, or flower arranging? This is a perfect time to continue your preferred choice of education or learn a new skill you've always wanted to learn. Whether it's by yourself, or with your partner, these types of classes can be so fun and rewarding. You can meet new friends or couple friends, and do something you love at the same time. If nothing else you will definitely grow more as an individual. But gaining a friend or two wouldn't hurt either!
4. Make an effort with co-workers
What better place to meet new people? Your work environment. I know some people like to keep things strictly professional, and by all means, that's perfectly OK too. If you're not the boss, and it's acceptable to hang outside of the work place, jump in! If nothing else, at least people can tell you what's around and fun places to go to.
Pick something that you're passionate about, and use your time to make the world a better place! I mean let's face it, those boxes can wait to be unpacked and it's not as if your calendar is filling up, so give a little, and you may just get a lot in return.
6. Say yes, a lot
The only way you will meet anyone is by starting with that little word " yes ". This is hard for me too because the word " no " is so small and cute and just rolls off my tongue so well. The more you say yes the more you will be exposed to. The more you're exposed to, the more opportunities you will have.
I am not sure why as an adult it feels so difficult to make new friends. Maybe it's because we don't quite feel old enough to be an adult, and do adulty things, but are definitely too old to meet new friends over sharing our lunch boxes. However, putting yourself out is good for your soul at any age, and who knows where relationships will take you. Meeting the right people could expose you to wonderful new adventures, but you'll never know if you don't try.
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