It is always difficult when your best friend calls you with news that her boyfriend of five years has just broken up with her. She’s devastated. Her whole world was just ripped apart. She thought she was going to marry this person and here she is now, crying on the phone while you are sitting there feeling helpless. What is a best friend to do? We have all been there. What is the best way to comfort your friend and let her know she is loved while still being empathetic and understanding? I have come up with 5 simple rules to follow when this situation comes knocking at your door.
- Be sensitive
Understand where your friend is coming from. Put yourself in her shoes. Be empathetic to her situation and really try to fathom what she is going through. It’s the worst when a friend just tells you, “Oh… you’re better off without them”, instead of understanding that that isn’t want you want to hear. Your friend loved this person and she wants you, for one second, to understand how she is feeling and just give her love and support.
1. Give her time
Sometimes one of the best things your BFF needs is some space. Of course, every friend reacts to certain situations differently. You may have a friend who calls you over the second it happens, or you may have a friend (like mine) who needs a few days to ‘cool down’ before discussing the matter. Both are completely understandable. Get a feel for what your friend needs, and respect her wishes. In time, she will be ready to share with you the details of the breakup.
2. Show you care
One of the best things you can do for your bestie is to show her that you care and are thinking about her. Mail her some colorful flowers that will show up at her doorstop and hopefully brighten up her day. If you are tight on money, a card is always appreciated. You can let her know that you are there for her and are ready to talk when she is. Send her a morning text to wish her a ‘better day’ and to ‘stay strong’. She will really appreciate your attempts to cheer her up.
3. Listen up
When you finally get to meet up with your friend, make it a point to just listen. Let her do the talking. It has always been a pet peeve of mine when a girlfriend will spend most of the time talking about how you didn’t need them in the first place, instead of listening to your side of the story and what actually happened. Don’t be that annoying friend. Listen and really try to see things from your friend’s point of view.
4. Be supportive
After all, isn’t this what a best friend is for? Be uplifting. Encourage your friend to get out bed and face the day. Tell her you are there every step of the way if she needs you. Send her inspiring messages or quotes that will help lift her spirits. A good quote can really change your mindset for the day, if you let it. Get some Chinese food or pizza and show up at your friend’s house after work. Eat ice cream with her while watching her favorite show or movie. Just being with her will help her feel loved and supported and hopefully get her mind off of things.
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