We were taught that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. So different in so many ways. Yet, it's become more and more apparent that we have much in common. I get a kick out of getting a notification that someone with a name like @buffandbrutal (or any other macho-isa name on social media) has ‘'hearted' a recently uploaded picture of my weekly flowers. It is that hard to believe that men like flowers?
For the most part, there is a certain emotional sensitivity primarily allocated to women. We're the sensitive ones, we're the hormonal ones, we're the maternal ones. Yet, just from social media alone, it's clear to see that's not the case. Men share posts about the sadness of breakups, innuendos about prospective romances and even relationship status updates. Men experience excitement, happiness, insecurities and disappointment just as much as women do. We see our guys as the glue that holds everything in place and because of it, we’ve become comfortable with minimizing their needs. He's a strong dude and he may not tell you this, but I guarantee your man really wants to hear you say
1. I support your decisions.
This can be especially hard when we don’t understand their reasoning entirely. However, crushing our spouses’ spirit by constantly questioning their decision making abilities can be harmful to the relationship as a whole.
The words we express can never be taken back and if they aren’t the encouraging type, they can eat away at the foundation our marriages. Besides, what’s better than a personal cheerleader? Trust your man. Let him lead.
2. I'm sorry.
Most of us ladies would like to believe we are capable of admitting we’re wrong. We’re cognizant of the fact that confronting our wrong doings is a symbol of strength and power. Yet, when it comes to our better half we have a tough time admitting we're at fault. Perhaps it’s because there is a certain level of comfort found in our significant other that doesn’t compare to that of anyone else.
We do, we say, we forget, without acknowledging their feelings. Taking responsibility for our mistakes is a great way of improving ourselves and our relationship with our spouse. A sincere apology by someone who truly loves us will always be accepted openly. This will increase the likelihood that you'll successfully move one from the issue at hand without rehashing old conflicts in the future.
Let me help you with that.
A helping hand is always welcome and, although men love to be on the forefront of taking action, sometimes they really don't mind the backseat. Picking up where your partner leaves off is a sign of comradely. It just proves our capabilities being present and mindful of their needs.
Do your thing.
"Go for it! Have fun! "Have one for me" you said... Secretly it's eating away at you to the point where you're nauseous, you really want to kill him for asking to spend a second away from you and you plan on upholding silent treatment for a week. Newsflash: He isn't trying to punish you. Men DO enjoy their 'guy time'.
They like grabbing a few beers with the buddies, watching hockey games and betting on the winning time WITHOUT the pressure of feeling like they are going to get the cold shoulder just because they got home at 2 am instead of midnight. Or worse, the passive aggressive attitude that comes with saying "nothing's wrong'. A great way to handle it, is by having interactions of your own. Plan a girl's night and the two of you will have something to talk about in the morning.
A few weeks back I was tuning on to my local radio show and entered into a conversation regarding cheating in relationships and why it's so common. The host of the talk show read a statistic saying that many people stated they cheated because they weren't getting enough attention from their partners. They wanted to feel loved and cared for. They wanted the assurance of being wanted and needed. And lastly, they wanted to know that their partner was attracted to them.
Now, I'm not sure what the degree of accuracy to this statistic is or where I can find it, but I do know one thing: everyone wants to feel wanted. Nothing feels better than hearing him say how how beautiful you are, even though you feel like an extra from the cast of the Walking Dead. Men want that just as much. This one is actually the easiest to do.
I love it when you…
I'll leave that one up to you and promise not to pass any judgment on how you choose to finish this sentence.
You’re my best friend.
The beauty about telling your husband he's your bestie is knowing he'll actually see you as his friend. Real friends see one another in their truest form, they have inside jokes that no one else thinks are funny, they exhibit stupid child-like hat seems immature to the rest of the world.
Your husband is capable of all of that and more. Men are silly, fun and can carry on a "girly' conversation too... Just not as long.
At the end of the day, we're left with companionship, laughter and the memories that were made. If you overwhelm partner will tons of happy moments, I guarantee he'll do the same.
MORE BY KEILA BERNOWITZ: