It's Not You, It's Me - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
"It's not you, it's me."
"I found someone else."
"I'm sorry, but it's over."
Chances are you've maybe heard these words or spoken them at least once in your life. I'm talking about the break up.
Break ups happen every day all around us and couples split and come together. That's life and it seems to be the norm. But what happens when it's time to break up with a friend?
Some of you might have some idea of what I'm talking about, and others might be reading this all side eye like "where's she going with this??"
Raise of hands...who is still besties with their best friend from Junior High? I'm not. I know it sounds like I'm coming off as mean, like how could I not want to stay friends with someone that I was so close with? Here are a few signs that maybe it's time to "break up with your bestie."
It's boring - You find that you continue to talk about the same things over and over again. My ex bestie and I seemed to only talk about people we knew from high school and what they're doing now, when in real life, I didn't even care. I was gossiping about people that I didn't even know anymore, much less what their new last name might be nowadays.
It's draining - You find that when you were younger, it was easier to be BFF and spend all your time together. Now it's all marriage and kids and schedules, and you have to force yourself to make time to go on an annual camping trip that you swore you would take every year. Do you even like sleeping on the ground anymore? Not when I have a perfectly good tempurpedic and some air conditioning! Sometimes besties just grow apart, and interests change.
It's emotionless - Does anyone have the friend that you never talk to but when you get together everything is fun? Those people are great because there are no strings attached, but what about the friends that you feel like if you don't see them/text them back, they'll be mad at you? I had a "best friend" that would text me or I would text her occasionally and it was fine. It changed when it started getting one sided, and I felt like the unemotional boyfriend that was losing interest in his needy girlfriend. If I didn't text back right away it was like, "hello?, where are you? Are you there? Melissa?" Yes I'm here, but I'm busy! Let me breathe!
I'm not saying that you have to be mean or "break up", in the sense that you two don't speak anymore. You can talk and hang out together whenever you'd like. What I'm saying is, what happened to letting things run its course and work themselves out naturally? We always talk to our girlfriends about the men in our lives that just weren't good for them - why not take a personal inventory of our friendships as well? If someone or something is making the friendship a burden more than a bond between two people, maybe it's time to let it go. It's okay to tell yourself, "I love this friend, but we really have grown apart."
As we get older we start to watch our lives unfold and get to know who we really are. What we do and who we associate with shapes us as people. Take a look at your group of friends - make the good relationships a priority, recognize that not all friendships will last forever, and learn to say goodbye when those relationships are not helping you grow.
You are blessed to have a circle of truly amazing people that understand that life is hectic and you can't always keep up with each other, but if the friendship is a healthy one, it will survive.