Like most little girls, I used to fantasize about the “big day” – Having my dad walk me down the aisle, all eyes fixed on me and my perfect white dress, in the perfect venue, me walking towards my perfect prince. As the years went by and I got older I still thought I would have a big glamorous wedding, never really thinking about the logistics of it all... until I settled down. Then things kind of changed.
Matt and I are always talking about what’s next... travel, babies, marriage – but in what order? When I think of big glamorous weddings I immediately think about all that money, and my thought process quickly shifts in other directions. We could travel, prepare for having babies, put the money towards the mortgage... the list goes on. I guess as you get a little older the idea of that big wedding becomes a little less important – or at least in my case it does. When did I become such a realist?
Now, don’t get me wrong - I love attending big weddings. They are so much fun! I love watching people vow their lives to each other while crying those happy tears, because let’s face it... we all love LOVE. And you can’t beat those parties. Weddings can be so beautiful, but the work that goes into planning one is so extravagant that it terrifies me. Am I crazy? Deb?! I have to admit, a little part of me thinks I might enjoy all the planning, and I think Matt would too. And hey, I already know who my bridesmaids will be. A dream wedding would be pretty great, but my brain keeps shifting to the realistic financial part of it all.
It seems like things have changed quite a bit in the past few decades, with a lot of couples choosing less traditional weddings. You know, the big white church, hundreds of attendees, the whole shebang! That’s not to say there aren’t still a large number of people who choose the traditional route these days, I just tend to see less of it. It probably has to do with the types of people I encounter, my age group, my friends and social circles, etc. I guess it all depends on personality and perhaps upbringing. I grew up in a very traditional household; my parents got married in their early 20s, with a large church wedding, and not long after came me and my younger brother. Actually now that I think of it, I went down the aisle with my mother (in her tummy), so I guess theirs was a shotgun wedding! They are both still married today, 33 years later – pretty impressive right? But regardless of the route they chose and their traditional (or untraditional ;) marriage, my parents are also very supportive and will be happy with whatever I choose when the day comes. They are just happy that I am happy.
Which brings me to my next point: I am happy. I guess when I always fantasized about the big day I was forgetting what came after that big party... the marriage itself. The “till death do us part” part. That’s what you are really planning for isn’t it? I can definitely say I am getting a taste of the real thing since we bought our first house together. We test each other’s patience, listen to each other’s stories about how our days were, support and uplift each other, get through the hard times, and cherish the good times, together. This sounds like commitment to me! We just haven’t made it official, but we will when the time is right.... or whenever he decides to get down on that knee!
Luckily, Matt and I share the same views and values on pretty much everything which is so important in a relationship. We often discuss what “our wedding day” will be like, and we both agree a big wedding is just not in the cards for us and are content with that. We have always loved the idea of getting married in California – it was the first place we travelled to together so a lot of great memories were made there. We often dream up this small intimate ceremony, on a deserted beach with just our closest friends and family. Then I start to dream of that perfect dress, sand between my toes as my dad walks me down that beach aisle, towards my perfect prince.
Now that sounds like a dream wedding to me, and it just might become our reality.
Thanks for stopping by,