It's 8pm on a Thursday evening, and my three little sticky faced kids have convinced me to allow them to stay up so they can snuggle Daddy before bedtime. He's worked a long week, which means I've worked a long week, and quite frankly, I'm too tired to fight it. It is Thursday after all, and I'm dreaming of the weekend. The weekend is full of promise and sleeping in...er no wait, still dreaming.
The reality of our weekend is more like: all three of them and our dog, smuggling their way into our bed. I say smuggling because it's some kind of law that they each bring no less than 5 toys with them. My hubs and I try to hold hands while they all pile between us. We reach for each other the way Rose and Jack do " I'll never let go " I say. Immediately he playfully tosses a pillow at my face and says " we need a bigger bed, or less kids, which one was bad yesterday? We will have him adopted. " I feel my heart skip a beat, and I fall for him all over again as he offers to make breakfast. He lets me sleep a little while longer, but we both know I'm up too, scrolling through my Instagram. He loves me anyway. Breakfast normally is the little ones' choosing. What we do with our Saturday is normally the little ones' choosing. Before I know it, Monday is peaking it's horrible face at me. I'm left missing my hubby all over again. The weekend goes way too fast, and when you have kids it's as if it goes in super sonic speeds.
Family time is everything to us. My husband travels for work so much that some weeks it feels like we are kissing goodbye, more than kissing hello. We love doing things with our kids, and for our kids. Our world revolves around them. I wouldn't have it any other way. However, it is so important to us that we keep our marriage, and each other our number one priority. Here are a few reasons why it is crucial to make time to spend with your husband when you have kids.
1. You become an unstoppable force.
In the beginnings of your relationship, all you wanted to do was be with your man. Every waking moment. When you went to sleep you had a huge smile on your face at the mere thought of him. For the most part, it's pretty easy. After all it is just the two of you. As life goes on and gets in the way, it becomes harder to do. Some days it seems that even though we live together, our communication is seriously lacking. With kids, it's even tougher because normally five people are talking at once. Mostly at levels so high only dogs can hear. When we make it a point to spend time together, and just enjoy each other, even if we only have 10 minutes a day, ( no seriously my husband travels a lot ) we are in sync. That allows us tackle whatever life may throw our way.
2. It is a major confidence booster.
Having someone by your side, that loves you for you and all your silly ways, is one of life's best gifts. When my hubby and I make a date, I love dressing up for him. Whether it's on the couch to watch a movie after the kids have fallen asleep, or a fancy date in the city,(Ok that last one rarely happens) when he tells me "I still got it", I swoon. The rest of the week I dress for me, which with little ones sometimes means no shower, and some stained clothes. When I dress for him, he notices. He appreciates it, and I do too. It makes me feel so good in mah skin!
3. You made a commitment.
Ok, this one is blatantly obvious. However, it's important! You stood in front of all your friends and family, or Elvis in Vegas, and made a vow to your man that you would always be his cheerleader in life. You don't necessarily have to dress as a cheerleader, though he may not mind, just show up for him. You will have days that you made plans and your warm bed sounds better than trying to push and pull all your body parts in places they once were. Power through them. You need it for your marriage, and your kids need it too! When momma and daddy are happy, your kids will thrive.
4. You feel younger.
My husband humors me with all my crazy ideas and adventures. It's how I knew he was the one. When the leaves fall, and the air is just right, I get a look in my eye, and my hubby knows I want to just drive to the middle of nowhere with a good cup of coffee. Sometimes that's all I need. Some good 90's music, the wind, my hubs, and nowhere to be but with each other. A bit corny, but true. Once you have kids, your body plays cruel jokes on you. It makes you feel 70 when your mind is saying 18. He makes me laugh so hard that whenever we have a date, I go to bed feeling so much younger than when I wake up. Probably because all my concealer has wiped off, and I can see my once " bags" have now turned to " luggage " under my eyes. But I digress.
5. It keeps you grateful.
On the rare night we do have a date, I will just stare at him when he's not paying attention. Like full-on creepy stalker (Ok, I exaggerate a lot.) I just look at his sweet face, and it takes me back to our very first date, our first kiss, our first "I love you", our first baby, our first home. When we have time to spend with each other it makes me realize how extremely grateful I am. How grateful I am to have him standing by my side in this crazy life. We may not have everything life has to offer, but we have each other, and at the end of the day, that is all I need.
Whatever you put into your relationship, is what you will get out of it. Sounds simple enough, but life makes it hard. Life makes everything hard, am I right? It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive, choosing to spend quality time together will be more than enough to keep the spark alive.