10 Things You Need to Remember When You Feel Like You Are Failing As A Mom
Okay it's 9 am.
Alright alright, it's 10am (if we are being honest).
All three of my little cubs are awake, and my oldest has already gotten them all cereal. She's five. I realize my husband has already left for work, and I want to start the morning over, so I can be the first awake. So I can get my workout in, my coffee finished while still hot, my news watched while it's current, laundry folded, and a shower all before those tiny eyes pop open. Instead, I wake up to them fighting over a piece of chalk that they all want, because it is the bluest. In that moment, I feel like I have already failed.
Those thoughts of " you are not being enough of a pinteresty mom " have creeped right into my brain. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE crafting, and cleaning with the best of them. Those are seriously two of my favorite things. However, it's not realistic to think I can achieve that 24 hours a day. It's not healthy either.
I'll admit, I love a good top knot - flannel shirt - Starbucks in hand for everyone in the family - kind of days. The kind where all the kids get along, no one gets stains on their clothes, and we snuggle up together at night and talk about our highs, and lows of the day.
Those days are so wonderful and amazing, because of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. If we didn't have the bad days, we couldn't appreciate the beautiful ones.
On those days when you just feel like your best isn't cutting it, remember these truths, because YOU are enough.
1. Everyone else's house is NOT cleaner than yours.
It might seem that way, but they're not. Did you ever see that episode of Friends where you find out what's in Monica's closet? The queen of clean had a dirty little secret. You're safe.
2. Today does not shape your child. It is the sum of days.
Your kids may remember a bad day here and there, but seeing as I used to be one, I can confidently say, I remember my best days with my parents way more. You will have off days, but those days, do not form your child.
3. The fact that you care, means you are doing this right.
This one is simple. You love your kid to the moon and back, and don't want to screw them up. Use those feelings for the next time something goes awry. You will be prepared and have a better plan.
4. Your weaknesses, shortcomings, and sins are NOT what defines you.
God loves you SO much that He gives you chance, after chance, after chance. Give yourself a break, your kids will. You are a good mom.
5. Your kids need to see you fail
I know. This is something I personally never want my kids to see. My kids are all still young, and they have seen me fail more than I care to admit. But, that's life. Show them you are human, and mess up. It's good for them. It is always hardest for me to say I'm sorry to my kids. The look in their sweet eyes and perfect faces, it's enough to make me never want to do it again. It will show them it's ok to make mistakes, and how to handle them when they come up.
6. It is easy to succumb to the negative thoughts when you are stressed, and sleep deprived
Everything seems bad when you are in a rotten mood. When you stub your toe on a great hair day, it doesn't seem so bad. When you stub your toe on a day your car dies, you see nothing but knife emojis. Take it all in, and then spit that junk out. Nobody got time fo that.
7. It's ok to think your life has difficult moments.
One of my dearest friends always tells me this. We will have a convo about life, and I'll tell her something crappy that happened and end with " well it's not that bad, it could be worse! ". She responds with " don't belittle your problems." Your problems matter. It's good to have in mind it could be worse, but don't override your feelings.
8. Focus on progress rather than perfection.
Again with the pinteresty housewife, and the pinteresty homes. There is no one person that has all their ish together. Everyone has things about themselves that they would probably change if they could. Instead of feeling bad about it, change it. Not overnight, but over time.
9. The people you compare yourself to, compare themselves to others.
That's right. You read it.
10. You can't hate yourself into loving yourself.
Someone had handwritten that on a poster somewhere a while back that I read. It's so incredibly true. Beating yourself up does no good for anyone. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!
Life is full of popcorn for dinner, spilled cups of coffee, unruly kiddos, dirty floors, lots of noise, late nights, relationship struggles, and unrealistic expectations.
However, life is also full of
Remember those sweet moments when life is fighting you to forget them. After all, you can only fail, if it's over. You are not a failure, you've got so much more to give.